Empty Nests

When Abdul Khaliq and Raja Begum sent their sonAamir to Bangalore to pursue higher education, little did they know that Kashmir would stop being home for him.They took the decision seeing a better career prospect for him. “A lot of my friends andrelatives sent their children to different states of India for professional education, and I followed them in doing the same,” recalls Abdul Khaliq. But after completing his education, Aamirsaw no point in returning. The career would now keep him away from Kashmir.

The decision would have a bearing on the couple’s life forever. After they married off their two daughters, they started feeling lonely. “We were now living in a house which was almost empty,” says Khaliq. He could also see that his wife was longing for her son.“It was not just the longing. We were old people now, and needed support,” he adds.

They decided that it was time that their son be married. “We thought that when he would be married in Kashmir he would decide to stay back,”saysRaja Begum. But this hope was in vain.

Aamir did get married according to his parent’s wishes, but after marriage he along with his newlywed wife headed to US, where he had landed a job. Things became more difficult for the Khaliq and Raja. Now Aamir would come back only once in two or three years, and that too only in holidays.

“I can’t express my happiness when Aamir is home, I have two grandchildren now who stay with them in America,” says Raja. “Even though they do not talk in Kashmiri and I do not speak English, I still understand what they have to say. We share a bond of affection,” she says with tears rolling down her eyes.She wishes she could see her grandchildren more often.

The daughters visit often, “but they have their own responsibilities so we can’t ask them to be here every time,” says Raja.

Sometimes, a granddaughter would stay to look after them when they had health problems. Both Khaliq and Raja are diabetic and hypertensive.

But soon this stopped too.“One day Aamir called to enquire about our health, and his niece picked up the phone. He asked ‘Why Afsha (his niece) was there?’ He told us that this meantthat we were wasting his precious money on our daughters and granddaughters. This stunned me for days, and since then we don’t allow anybody to stay here with us,” recalls Khaliq.